Being Known For Positive Qualities...

"We continually remember before our God and Father your work produced by faith, your labor prompted by love, and your endurance inspired by hope in our Lord Jesus Christ." — I Thessalonians 1:3

Recently, I challenged myself to take my devotionals straight from the Bible. I had grown accustomed to my little devotional from Max Lucado, which gave me a small verse and then told me what to get out of said verse.

For a while, that was all of the spiritual nourishment that I received and all that I needed. I would read that, be inspired, and say that I had done my devotionals for the day, but the amount of actual scripture I consumed was less than admirable. Granted that it was better than nothing, but it was like eating an ice cream sundae with two-thirds of the bowl consisting of whipped cream.

So, I decided to pick up the Word and get plugged directly into it again. No more fluff. No more gaining some published author's reflections instead of my own.

This was no easy task. I had trained myself to read just small portions at a time and not having to concentrate on what was being said. In essence, I now had an "MTV Generation" approach to reading the Word.

So, I started in James. I got smacked between the eyes with relevancy in my life. Immediate convictions on my attitudes and actions and how I lived my life. Then I moved over to Colossians and the same thing happened. Finally, I moved one book over to I Thessalonians and got struck by the oddest of passages this morning.

In the epistles (letters to the early churches), the first chapter is usually a greeting. While there can be some choice morsels in some of the books, rarely is any meat found in these opening words. And yet, there in verse three, it stuck out to me: "We continually remember... your work produced by faith, your labor prompted by love, and your endurance inspired by hope..."

Did you catch the same thing that I did? These people were remembered because of their faith, love, and endurance. Simple qualities. Consistent qualities. Positive qualities. Qualities that I aspire to be known for myself. Qualities that I strive to emulate in my daily life.

Chapter one doesn't end there, either. Here are some other things that were said about the Thessalonians:

• v7 - "...you became a model to all the believers..."
• v8 - "...your faith in God has become known everywhere."
• v8 & 9 - "...we do not need to say anything about it, for they themselves report what kind of reception you gave..."

An entire chapter of the book was dedicated to telling these people what kind of a testimony they had just by the way they lived. And as I read these words, I began to wonder what will be said about me when my life is over. Will I be known for these positive qualities, or will I be known for the darkness that tries to hide beneath the surface. I already get compliments of favor from people I work with, but sometimes the shame shines through and is more memorable in people's eyes. Just a tiny bit of negativity can erase a lifetime's worth of positive. That's why I have to be extra careful here in LA and that is why I think this chapter was as much an encouragement to the Thessalonians as an admonishment that they continue to live a life worthy of such accolades.

I was sharing this inspiration with my friend, Bethany. What I had to say touched her as well and she recalled how she was watching the special features on The Wizard of Oz and everyone was talking about the guy who played the Tin Man, and what they had to say about him.

"They said that he was a big-hearted person," Bethany told me. "I was thinking... if I'm remembered for anything, I'd like it to be something like that rather than what I've accomplished."

And both of us has seen this played out in real life. Our friend and actor, Doug Jones, has grown quite a following and I attribute it to his personality and humility (although, his talent does play a huge part as well). You never speak to him without hearing "there's love for you" or "big love" pass through his lips and he always has a story about how God used him on the set of a movie or production. His life is a living example of I Thessalonians and I hope to have just a fraction of the influence in people's personal lives that he has had in mine.

The same can be said of Bob Yerkes, who is currently allowing me to stay in an RV at his house. His docile nature and supportive personality, mixed with her fervent faith in Christ, has caused dozens to rely upon him in times of crisis and to celebrate with him in times of joy. I saw this firsthand during his recent surprise birthday party.

So, where does this leave me? How am I to act as I move forward? How do I fulfill the desire to be in a position where I can have an impact on people's lives personally and professionally? Am I already on my way, or do I need to change course to make sure I get there?

The One-Week Milestone...

It's hard to describe my first week in LA. There has been a wealth of activity, excitement, adventure and fun. In contrast, there has also been a bit of growing and trusting God, along with a few mental slaps in the face.

To be honest, my first weekend was simply amazing. I had something to do every single night and someone to spend it with. I felt at home in this new city and I was left wanting nothing. I enjoyed the company I was with every night and almost deceived myself into believing that this vacation-like state was how it would be here all of the time.

But there is more to this story. I left San Diego nearly broke. The client check I was expecting had been delayed and I ventured out with friends with little funds in my pockets. This is where God came in. Since it was my birthday weekend, someone kept picking up the tab for my meal or activity (a good portion of the time it was James, so now I am indebted to him for life) and I miraculously had enough money to make it back to San Diego on Tuesday to pick up the tardy talents (that's money, fool!).

And then came more stretching. The client forgot to pay one of the invoices and I received $300 less than I was expecting.

I just knew that I had to trust God. He takes care of the birds in the air and he's taken care of me the last nine months while working freelance, he's not going to let me down now. Especially not when I've been obedient and gone exactly where he's told me to go at the precise moment he's opened the door.

So, I'm trusting God. I met with my CPA to sign my taxes and I find out that I'm getting back over $2,000 in refunds, including the economic stimulus payment. In fact, it would have been more, but she applied part of it to my 2008 taxes so I won't have to worry about owing as much at the end of this year! All I have to do is get through the next few days with less than $75 for food and other expenses and I'll be golden.

Yeah, even when God is showing me the light, he's asking me to go through one more trial to make sure that I'm fully trusting him. I will have no choice, but to glorify God through this once I've dusted myself off and am on my way.

Anyway, I digress and I wish to slumber shortly (it's nearing 1:00am as I type this on my iPhone). Just one last thing I want to mention and I have to be delicate with what I say. I may expand my thoughts more tomorrow with a specific situation that happened.

The last thing I've been reminded of this week is to honor my commitments. I recently rededicated my desire to remain a virgin until marriage based on the revelation that my future wife might be praying for me. I have also been trying to refine myself personally, in terms of curbing my sexual jokes, in order to groom myself for marriage and actually attract whomever God has for me.

I found myself slipping this week. Not a lot, but it was still classified as the same. My feet lost traction with the ground and I lost momentum in the upward climb (hence the term 'slipping'). I risked a friendship for momentary flirtation (even as I have my eye on another woman) and had to stop myself before I made a stupid mistake that would have ruined every effort to be a different man in this city that applauds depravity.

And then, unbeknownst to me, my old self creeped up and I upset another friend with some sexual comment that I don't even remember making. That is exactly the behavior that I am trying to avoid and it's a problem if I can't figure out what I did even now.

This is actually the issue that I wish to address in greater detail later and I question if I even did make a comment when I was accused if such, but regardless, this is a case of my past actions coming back to bite me and God is using it to remind me that I am a new man with a new start and I don't have to be known for the same behaviours that I once was.

Yes, I'm forgiven... I also need to act it and not continue to live in my old ways. It's a tough, hard road and the pavement will only get more unkempt as I climb up the hill. It's just been a week so far, but it's a week that I won't soon forget for many reasons.

Okay, okay... One final footnote. One last thing that I must glorify God with. This may make this one of my longest blogs ever, but that's a risk I'm willing to take.

When I began freelancing in September, I signed up with a creative staffing company called Aquent. I took a skills assessment test and I ran out of time to finish the practice website that I had to code. Turns out that I got a score of two (out of five), which they consider "below average", but would have still given me assignments, had they come across their desk (I have yet to work an Aquent assignment).

As soon as the move to Los Angeles began to formalize, I had my account reps put me in touch with the LA office so they could both be looking for clients for me. The problem was that, while San Diego considered a score of two to be below average, Los Angeles considered it failing.

Today, I met with the LA reps at Aquent and retook the skills assessment test. In fact, this time they had me hand-code instead of using Dreamweaver as an aid (a more difficult test). Let's just say that I did more than a little better, I got a whole five out of five points!

Only God can take the credit here. He is showing his favor and he is advancing my skills by leaps and bounds. And he is giving me a perfect end to my one-week milestone of living in Los Angeles.

Singing The Night Away...

Okay, so I guess that I need to talk about the rest of my birthday. I don't care if you want me to move onto another subject, I've got one more post about this day.

So, I had originally assumed that it was going to be a small gathering for dinner because everyone seemed to have plans for Saturday night. At the last minute, the body count quadrupled into almost twelve people and we were afraid that there wasn't going to be room for everyone in Cafe Colombia. In the end, only Thierrion, James and myself showed up to eat the fried "heart attack on a plate" and consume all of the unhealthy goodness.

After dinner, we took a stroll to Cold Stone for ice cream and tried meeting up with another friend on our way to Costa Mesa, but that ended weird and it was again just the three of us to make it down to Durty Nelly's. We were there to sing karaoke with the great Kevin Karaoke and, upon walking into the room, he immediately recognized me and began referring to me as Dr. von Kaiser (which is how he would later introduce me as I got up to sing.

Now, we didn't arrive until 11:30pm, over two full hours after he began, so we only had time for one song each. I had been itching to sing Weird Al's "Gump" and I would not resist scratching and fulfilling the urge to do so.

As you can see from the picture, I had dressed up for the evening. I hadn't expected anyone else to, only myself because it was my birthday and I enjoy looking like this. I would watch as people stared at me as they drove by, but also graciously accept the multiple compliments of "I love your style!" (who knows, maybe I'll find a woman who likes a guy who dresses like this).

Anyway, I had a blast on my birthday. With all of the great stuff happening that just kept stacking up (culminating with my neice singing me happy birthday over the phone) and how great my entire first weekend in Los Angeles went, I'm a very happy camper right now. Literally. I'm living in an RV. I'll have to post a picture tomorrow or something.

Update: I re-uploaded the main image and got it working. I'll add some more pictures from the evening soon as well.

A Two-Year Old Just Made My Day...

All morning and afternoon, I've been getting emails, phone calls, MySpace comments and Facebook wall posts wishing me a happy birthday. As usual, the first phone call this morning was from my Grandma as she sang the birthday song to me. That was followed by both of my parents.

So, I send Jayme a text message. Jokingly, I say, "No love on my birthday?"

"Sorry," she says. "Happy birthday!"

I respond by telling her not to worry about it. Then I thought of Brie and asked if she knew how to sing the birthday song.

"Yeah," came the respond.

I was amazed. Jokingly again, I continued. "Really? You should have her sing it to me."

Within a few minutes, the phone rang and Jayme's face lit up the caller ID screen of my iPhone. I answered. Instead of Jayme's voice, I heard Brie say, "Happy Birthday!"

A smile crept across my face. This precious child whom I love beyond comprehension was wishing me a happy birthday. And within moments, she was singing the song to me.

My smile only grew larger as tears began to form in the crevaces of my eyes. My two-year old neice had just made my day and helped to make this one of the best birthdays I've ever experienced.

Birthday Realization...

Many thanks to my cousin, Robert, who called me up today and pointed out that I'm over halfway towards being able to order off of the senior citizen menu at Denny's. The limit is 55 and I am now 28, so that's only another 27 years.

Yeah, so thanks, Robert!

I'll have to blog more about my birthday later. I'm too excited about tonight's celebrations to really say anything meaningful. There is a girl possibly coming that I wasn't expecting, but I'm really looking forward to seeing again. And I'm going to sing Weird Al songs during karaoke after dinner. It's going to be an amazing birthday!

Oh, went to my first stand-up show at The Comedy Store last night. Enjoyed myself more than I imagined. Although, one of the comics should be arrested for saying, "If I don't become famous for being a comedian, I want to be famous for shooting [President] Bush."

My First Night In Los Angeles...

There was a moment this afternoon, only a brief moment, that I hesitated. My key dangling halfway out of the ignition as I sat in my car outside my Grandma's condo, I contemplated what I was about to do. I had literally just jumped at God's calling to move and hadn't slowed down to comprehend just how big a decision it was until last night.

And so I sat there. It wasn't too late to change my mind. I could say that I was making a mistake and stay in my comfort zone of San Diego. I could find a new place to live and keep working on my website clients and hope that I could still do some work in entertainment.

I could have done all of that, but it's not what I wanted to do and not where God called me to be. He told me to pack my bags and get my butt up here, so I turned that key, started up my car, and began my trek to live my new life in Los Angeles.

And so far, my first night feels like a dream. I'm living in a big motor home all by myself and I spent the evening watching Indiana Jones 4 with my friend, Bethany (I've mentioned in previous blogs that she is beautiful and talented, so I won't say anything here... Oops).

Anyway, I'm sitting here in bed. It's wonderfully quiet, except for an occasional car passing. It feels weird to know that I'm here for good and I'm not going back. I feel accomplished, finally breaking out of the 20-mile boundary that I have lived within my entire life. And just placing my trust in God to provide everything has already grown me a little.

If I were to evaluate this like it were a survey, I would have to say that my first night in Los Angeles is a success. A raging success. And now, I must go to bed on the successful night and wake up to my first Los Angeles morning.

Never The Same Again...

I don't think it is unusual for us to look back at our lives and see how big a particular moment was, or how big an impact one individual decision made on what steps we would take after that one. And it doesn't matter if the event in question was positive or negative, only that it was important and marked a big chapter in our lives. Many would call this a defining moment, but I wouldn't know as I haven't had one.

In contrast, I find is very odd to be sitting on the precipice of change and, deep inside, know that my life will change forever within the next twelve hours. There were events and decisions that led up to this moment, but it isn't until I put my clothes in my car and leave my Grandma's house and drive up to Los Angeles to live, will the catalyst be set for a new beginning.

A new life in a new city, committed to making it and not giving myself any options not to. My safety net will be gone and it will be time to get serious and make my career happen. There will be an increased amount of stimulation and the spiritual warfare component will multiply dramatically. I will be surrounded by people better than me and people who would step on me to pass me up, but also by people who will support and encourage me and others who will follow me to their dying breath as I lead them toward victory.

It's as if I've outgrown my fish tank and I'm looking for a bigger playground to roam around in. More opportunities to grow and learn, more chances to be a light in a darkened world, and more potholes and pitfalls to trip me up along the way.

That's a lot that is going to change and I'm ready for it. So much activity from one, little, obedient decision to listen to God calling me out of my comfort zone and into the lion's den.

From this moment on, my life will be different. I will look back at this very second as I write these very words and I will smile at just how little I really knew. Just a tiny glimpse of the blessings God has in store for me and not the faintest idea of how many mountains I will have to climb to get there. Mountains that don't exist where I am, so I must go to where they are and then make my way up.

But I'm not yet there, looking back. I'm still here, looking forward. I know that I don't see the entire picture. I know that there will be mountains to climb and giants to fight and damsels to save. I don't who where or who any of them are, but I'm ready for them. Everything I have experienced has brought me to this moment and everything after this decision, even as I am driving and on my way to a new era, will grow me even more.

Without a doubt, nothing will resemble yesterday or the lifetime before that. I will be a different person with different rules and different expectations. I will have a bar that is raised higher than it was last week and I will be accountable to people I never even met before. It may feel alien, and no one questions that it may be unusual, but it will be right and it will define who I am.

Define... who... I am. A defining moment. My defining moment. The one I have been chasing after for years, but have been unable to find. The element in my life that was missing. Could this be it? In this moment where I know that nothing will ever be the same again, have I found the very moment in my life that I can look back at and pinpoint the moment where everything changed?

Ask me tomorrow.

Apparently, I'm Going To Die Soon...

I don't think I was awake and on my computer working for more than twenty minutes this morning when one of my colleagues popped online and sent me a message.

"I don't mean to creep you out," he began, "but I had an awful dream about you last night that you died. Just be careful in your transition to Los Angeles, my boy."

"I died?" I asked, perplexed.

"Yeah. I was in an office and someone came in and told me," he continued. "It was real and creepy. Use caution in the next week or so."

I cracked a smile and typed my response. "Wow. Any details on how and why?"

"Not really," was his claim. "The feeling was overwhelming. Dreams usually mean nothing, but i felt compelled to tell ya."

I assured him that I was not really concerned, but thanked him for the heads up. I concluded the conversation with a bit of a confession of my own:

I've recently had a recurring daydream about going to Universal Studios next week for my birthday. In it, a couple of gunmen start shooting people and take out a guard. I take the guard's gun and shoot one of the gunmen in the back of the head. The other gunman shoots me in the side of my back and it spins me around to face him and we begin firing at each other. I kill him and he shoots me in the shoulder. Not quite the same dream, since I don't die in mine, but interesting timing that I dream of this and my friend dreams of my death.

I just chalk my daydream up to fantasies about being a super hero. I mean, come on... I'm always saving some girl in these things and this version is no different (I just can't say who it is). I can even recall a dream back in elementary school where I had to kill terrorists to save one of my classmates. Yeah, elementary school.

I probably need therapy... or less caffeine.


Update:

Upon showing this to the colleague with whom I had this discussion, he pointed out that I had left out a very important part of the conversation.

After telling him of my dreams of the shoot-out, he remarked, "Hmm. Maybe you are just going on the Universal rides and they choose you to participate in the wild west show."

"They have a wild west show there?" My eyes began to bug. "I've never been and this is a birthday present from one of my friends."

"Yeah, stuntmen, etc." He continued. "And sometimes they pull people from the audience. Wild."
"Awesome," I said, my excitement only growing at this point. "That would be cool."

"If you see that show and they shoot you," he finished, "my jaw will hang open... and I will begin telling people that I am a prophet."

Oh, The Agony!

Yesterday was my family birthday party for myself, my brother, and my Grandma. I will be turning 28 later this week (it will actually be during my first Saturday living in LA).

Anyway, so the party was at my Grandma's pool and we ordered a bunch of giant pizzas. I stupidly packed my sunscreen in my storage unit and didn't ask to borrow anyone else's. After a couple of hours, my shoulders began to feel a bit raw.

Turns out that my back, shoulders, arms, and chest are now a lovely shade of red and the agony... Well, it hurts. Could have been worse, but it still hurts. And my after-sun moisturizer is in storage as well.

By the way, it was a delight to see Brie and play around with her. She loves nothing less than to ride around on my shoulders and wear my fedora instead of me. And I spoiled her with frozen girl scout thin mints.

At one point, I told Jayme that I was keeping her and she couldn't take Brie home. Following is the conversation verbatim:

Jayme: Brie, do you want to live with Uncle Aaron?
Brie: Yeah.

Jayme comes and sits down next to Brie on the couch, who is sitting next to me. She looks at the two year old and continues.

Jayme: If you live with Uncle Aaron, you'll never see Mommy, Sean (Jayme's boyfriend), or Lucas (Sean's son that is 4 months younger than Brie) ever again.
Brie: (without hesitation) Okay.

The look of shock and pain on Jayme's face was priceless. You know that it's one of those things that Brie didn't completely understand, but just her saying that can strike certain chords within you.

I thought back to the day and how, as I sat on the grass to eat, Brie would come and sit next to me. Or how she mostly wanted to be in the pool with me holding her or how I actually got her to swim and kick her legs with me holding her up at the top of the water.

The entire day just reminded me of my desire to be a father. I know how much of a blessing it will be and I can't wait until the day that it happens.

The Last Hurrah...

Tonight was my going away party. It was joyous, but bittersweet. I saw friends and colleagues who came to wish me well on my way as I relocated to LA. I hugged most of them when they got there and gave them a final hug on their way out with an extra squeeze.

I was glad to see everyone there and the atmosphere was very lively. I told the story more times than I can count of how the move to LA came about in a week and how God orchestrated everything to happen within a month's time. We made constant jokes about the guys marrying each other with Prop 22 being overturned and even made fun of Ted *hic* Kennedy on the news of his hospitalization (I think we're going to hell now for that last part). And, of course, there was Rock Band and me singing Enter Sandman poorly.

I think it was best that the party was upbeat and fun. I am genuinely excited about moving to Los Angeles and not scared in the slightest (God is preparing everything, so what do I have to be fearful of?), but now that I reflect upon the evening, I am sad.

Yes, I will continue to see many of these friends during my sojourns down here, but this is the last time that I am guaranteed to associate with any of them. And some of them I wish I could hold onto forever and not let go.

But, alas, just like the butterfly I saw yesterday, I must change. I am growing into a new stage of my life. I feel that God is preparing for my career to take off like crazy in unexpected and exponential ways, and I feel that He is also preparing me to meet and marry my future wife. I'm at the plateau of something absolutely and truly amazing and I can't wait to find out what God has in store.

Tomorrow is my family birthday party for myself, my brother, and my Grandma. The part I'm excited about is that my "sister", Jayme (she's not really my sister, but we treat her as such) is going to be coming with my "niece", Brie, and Jayme's boyfriend and his son. I think of Brie and how much love I have for her. More than anything else, thinking of just running around and playing with her, or holding her and hugging her, brings tears to my eyes. I want to be a father so badly and she is a reminder to me of what God has in store for me.

I already know that He's going to give me a daughter. She's going to be my little angel and I am going to spoil her rotten. If I saw Brie more often, I'd probably do the same to her now. She would know that she is loved and feel safe and secure in my arms at all times. My love for her would be immeasurable and not because she has earned it, just because I've chosen to.

I need to go to bed. I've got church in the morning and I have to say goodbye to Pastor Barry. Besides, if I keep talking about this while in my reflective mood, I might cry and that won't be good for the macho images I'm trying to portray to attract the ladies.

Sweet Baby Jesus, I'm Done!

AUTHOR'S WARNING: Contents of this blog entry may implant disturbing images into your mind.

I am sitting on the floor at my Grandma's house. Every bone in my body aches and every muscle is spasming in pain. A hot bath is calling my name, if only I can round up the strength to get up off the floor.

I haven't showered since Tuesday or Wednesday. I honestly can't remember what day it was at this point. I know that I haven't changed since Wednesday afternoon. I have been wearing the same gym outfit for over 50 hours and I am starting to smell like my ex-roommate did when he was holed up in his room playing videos games all week.

The dirt and sweat is caked on. I lick my lips and I taste the bitter, salty taste that my body produced. My hands are raw from the bleach I used to clean the house in an effort to get as much of my deposit back as possible.

The last three days were literally hell for me. I would get up early in the morning and pack all day and move as much stuff over to the storage unit as possible. Today was the worst. I awoke at 8:00am and did not finish until 9:00pm.

I pushed my body to the limit and kept going because I simply had to. Not having the endurence to complete the job was not an options.

And now, my body is broken. My brain is fried. I barely have the willpower to right this blog, but I have to let everyone know that I'm done moving out of my house.

Yes, I am done. Sweet baby Jesus, I'm done. No more moving boxes and carrying bag after bag of trash to the dumpster. No more sweating and aching and pushing myself past where I ever have before. No more sleeping on the floor in a sleeping bag without showering just so you can finish the job as humanly possible.

And now, a few days of rest. An opportunity to recover and recoup the lost energy before making the trek to Los Angeles and beginning my new life in my new city.

By the way, I hope that Jon from Stuff Christians Like likes the title of this blog. It is dedicated to him.

Sorry for scarring your brain with the thoughts of me being dirty and sweaty and not showering and changing clothes in days. At least I didn't mention the fact that I will be naked when I'm taking my hit bath... Oops.

A Season Of Change...

I just saw a butterfly flying around outside the house as I'm packing up the car with the last few loads of moving boxes.

I don't normally believe in "omens" or anything like that, but the irony of a creature that symbolizes change hanging around in a time where I am going through a major season of change in moving to LA is mind boggling. I've never seen a butterfly around here before and it picks today to say hi.

Into The Wee Hours...

I'm up until 4:00am again, but this time it's because of freelance work. I have been helping my friend, Katie Eischen, with her stunt website this last week and we needed it to go live before a magazine ad ran.

The magazine decided to push the production date up a week and our two-week completion date turned into one. And with all of my other commitments and trying to get ready to move, I seemed to be running myself ragged the last few days.

Anyway, we needed to get the site up today and I just finished and pushed it live. The design borrowed heavily from another site I built for Cliff Traiman that was designed by Chris Del Sordo (the similarity was by request).

What? You want to see the site? Go ahead! I always love feedback. The URL is located at http://www.katieeischen.com/

Apparently, during development of the design, Katie kept telling her friends (well, at least the one that told me about it) of how amazing I was during the process and how patient I was with her. It is encouraging to hear things like that and to see how God has blessed the way I deal with clients. Everyone that deals with me in this wants to keep working with me and I tend to think that it's the little things I do to make sure they are taken care of that make the difference.

The Gypsy Camp...

Today was an LA day. Jimmy Diggs, writer and director of the upcoming episode of Star Trek: Phase II that I am producing, met up with me at my house around 9:30am and we made the trek up the freeway.

Our first stop was the original Bob's Big Boy, where we had lunch with my good friend, Doug Jones.

After that, we had Media Fellowship at CBS Studio Center. During the evening, I mentioned that I was moving to LA and still looking for a place to live. From the back of the room, I hear Bob Yerkes (who is the most well-known stunt guy on the face of the planet) yell out, "You should check out the gypsy camp!"

I knew exactly what Bob was talking about. He was offering to let me stay in a trailer in his back yard until I got on my feet. I'll be joining the other people that he is also housing temporarily and it should prove to be a fun adventure!

To be honest, I half expected an offer. This is why I wasn't freaking out about where I was going to live after I move out of my house this Thursday. God has proven faithful and my trust was not misplaced.

So, in a week from Wednesday (I will stay at my Grandma's for a few days), I will be residing in the Yerkes Circus, otherwise known as the Gypsy Camp.

I Need To Buy New Jeans...

Those who surround me in my personal life know about my struggle with weight. While I supposedly carry it well, it is still obvious that I weigh more than I should.

In 2004, I went on Atkins and lost 60 pounds in three months (that's 20 pounds a month), but I eventually gained it all back when I went off the diet. In fact, most of it came back in the few months immediately after I broke up with my ex-girlfriend.

Recently, I have been doing a good job of changing my eating lifestyle. Rarely do I eat fast food and never do I buy snacks to eat at home. When I shop, I avoid the processed foods and buy healthier selections that I have to prepare myself. I also did a full-body cleanse program where I replace meals with shakes and go on a two-day fast to rid my body of impurities.

In doing so, I have lost 40 pounds recently, but at a much slower rate than when I was on Atkins. The results may not be as immediate, but they will last longer and my body is getting accustomed to being thinner.

I've still got a way to go, but I already had to bring one of my suits in to fit me better and all of my jeans are now too baggy on me. Guess it's time to go shopping!

Testimonies In Progress...

I have noticed an ironic oxymoron when it comes to Christians and the area of discussing one's weaknesses. No one wants to hear about the person who has, what I like to call, "a testimony in progress" (they are still struggling through life and know that one day their story with touch the lives of others, but not today). Instead, many Christians would rather wait until God has completely pulled these people through the trials and their testimony tells of what God did in their life.

That's right, did. Past tense. As in over, completed, finished, end of story. Everyone wants to hear of the drug addict who hit rock bottom two years ago and is now on fire for Christ and serving in missions, but not of the current drug user who wants to be rid of the habit and can't manage to find the strength on their own to stop. They have to daily seek God and his strength to restrain the urge to shoot up and hearing this makes a lot of people cringe.

Not everyone is miraculously cured of their afflictions upon salvation (especially for those of us who grew up in the church) and sometimes our struggles hinder us for years. We can walk along without stumbling for months, then we trip one day and have to start our "sobriety" over again. That is a testimony in progress. God is still working in us and slowly ridding us of these deadly addictions.

In my case, it involves sex (or lack thereof). I have recently spoken twice about my virginity and my renewed desire to abstain until marriage and not jump into the sack with the first woman who will let me. My problem is that I don't think anyone wants to hear it.

Imagine if my testimony went as follows: "Ever since I lost my virginity in high school, I slept with dozens and dozens of girls. I had up to three or four sexual partners a year. Then, three years ago, I was saved and God removed the desire to sleep with anyone that I was not married to. I have been celibate since then and wait for God to bring me my perfect wife."

The problem with this example is that it is not realistic. Sure, there are plenty of stories of people like this, or even the common story of a drug user who goes off cocain cold turkey immediately after salvation, but I find that this is more the exception than the rule. For every person who is able to do that, I have probably talked to five that struggle with the same things they did before. They just aren't talking about it.

Well, I am talking about it. I'm saying that, up until a week and a half ago, I was willing to give up my virginity if given the opportunity, but God wouldn't let me. He finally pulled the strings on my heart to renew that desire, but it will still be a struggle for me every single time that temptation rears its ugly head. And even though my desire was to get laid, I never acted upon it.

In a recent post for the blog Stuff Christians Like, the author tackles the misperception of "when I am bad, God does not love me and gives me bad times; when I am good, God loves me and gives me good times." He clearly rebukes that line of thinking and brings up the story of the prodigal son and how the "good son" that stayed and worked was upset that the"bad son" had a party thrown for him. He didn't get the fact that "good deeds don't equal good rewards."

And I think that's how our society is screwed up. Each of us has our own problems, but we are so frakin' legalistic that we judge everyone if they don't fit into our perfect little box of being as perfect as we think we are. We can't see the person's restoration down the road (because we are not God) and so we must ridicule and torment. If I admit that I struggle with the desire to lose my virginity, obviously I must be some sex fiend and you can't hang out with me because I might try to have sex with you. (Please note my sarcasm.)

Bringing this full circle, I'm not sure why people are afraid of problems that people are currently facing. It's almost as if it is a disease that you can catch. If I have a cold, you aren't going to shake my hand because you might catch it. Once the cold is gone, not only will I get a handshake, but also a hug to go along with it. I did not change during the process. I'm still the same person. In fact, I could have used the chicken noodle soup that you like to make when I had the cold, but I didn't have it because you avoided me.

Am I making any sense here? Can't we see how much the people who have testimonies in progress need the support of the Christians around them? They are being honest and saying, "I struggle in this area and it is hard because I can't do it alone. I need God's help... and I need your support."

Strayed Like Sheep...

"All of us have strayed away like sheep. We have left God's paths to follow our own." (Isaiah 53:6 NLT)

When I read those words in my Max Lucado devotional on Saturday, it was a reminder to me of the paths I have walked and of those laid out before me. I am not immune to walking down the culdesacs of pain and anguish, only to turn around and return to the very point I left the streets and avenues that God plotted out for me.

I think it is hard for anyone to see that they aren't going in the right direction until they actually get to the dead end and have to turn around. Just as the addict has to hit rock bottom, the journey taker must hit a brick wall to realize that they are lost.

Being a man who recently discussed the fact that he had strayed from God's path in terms of valuing his virginity, only to renew his committmemt to stay pure until his wedding night (it will still be very hard to fight the natural desires), I find some aspects of moving to Los Angeles frightening.

Within an hour of reading Isaiah 53 in my devotionals, I was thumbing through a local LA publication and searching their classifieds for affordable housing. I flipped the page and found myself in the adult classifieds section.

Never before, not even in Vegas when I found myself in the unsavory situation of being in a strip club, was sex so blatantly and readily available to me. All I would have to do is make a call. From phone sex lines to Asian massages and full escorts, I began to realize just how much more of a physical and spiritual battlefield Los Angeles is going to be over San Diego.

Since I am back on God's paths now, I had no concern of falling victim to these ads when I saw them. What concerns me is what might happen down the road if I leave the path again and get discouraged in my life and my walk and simply give up caring to live a Godly life, as I had before. If I grow lukewarm, will I fall prey to even greater sins than could be committed in San Diego? And what if success grows into complacency in my walk with Christ? Will the same fate befall me?

I see my move to Los Angeles as a new beginning for me. It is a fresh start to make new first impressions with new friends and to renew my relationship with Christ. God willing, I might even find my wife whom I can encourage and support as much as she would to me. I want to be a light in a very dark place and the road may be bumpy along the way, but I must make sure to stay on it.

When sheep stray from the shepherd, they are prone to falling off cliffs or being devoured by predators. The same goes for us and the only way to safeguard ourselves is to be in a daily relationship with the Creator and to seek His will.

Weekend Recap...

It's Monday morning and I am sitting in the Jury Lounge of Superior Court in El Cajon, CA. I am operating off of four hours of sleep, getting back from LA around 1:30am.

As I was preparing to leave LA, I complained about coming back to San Diego. I didn't want to. The tardy hour played a part, but it was more about not wanting to leave LA. I wanted to stay and continue my life in my new city. This weekend was just a sample of things to come.

It seems that the logistics of moving have complicated as well. Concerning my three job interviews, none of them are panning out. I was supposed to get a call on Saturday if Universal Studios wanted to audition me and my phone never rang. The web design company was looking for a more seasoned designer, not someone like me who has a good mix of design and programming, and I told them as such.

And then there was my interview with the Internet video website, VIMBY. That was the job I was most excited about as it is a very promising start-up that I would be proud to work at, but I was also most concerned about as it was an in-house position and I didn't know if it was full-time or not. We discussed my availability and I was supposed to follow up with an honest assessment of what time I could put in at their location, etc.

As I struggled with this decision, trying to figure out how much of my freedom to give away, my phone rang. It was Jimmy Diggs, consulting producer on Dr. von Kaiser and writer/director of the upcoming episode of Star Trek: Phase II (formerly Star Trek: New Voyages) "Kilkenny Cats". He was calling to ask me to be the lead producer of the episode.

Despite being a spec project, we are anticipating 30 million downloads upon release and there is already a flurry of Internet activity regarding the episode. I will be working with people like Richard Hatch and coordinating the panel for the episode at Comic-Con this July, which might include people like George Takei.

The complete and utter irony of Jimmy's timing with the call was that I was thinking about how it would work if I had another producing project. It wasn't an immediate concern at the time, but I knew that it would present itself as a problem in the near future. With accepting this offer on Star Trek: Phase II, that is now an immediate reality.

Aside from that happening, I already blogged about most of my weekend. In case you missed it, I blogged about an awesome plane-car that I saw at Bob's Big Boy, along with a post regaring the CAMIE Awards.

The only other thing to tell would be about Sunday. It was the perfect ending! I went to Reality LA and really enjoyed the worship set. I then went to lunch with some of my new LA friends, Seth, Landon, Lis, Jenn, and Kyle (I think I got that last name correct... Oh, there was also a Ben there). After that, we played Ultimate Frisbie in Griffith Park. It was the first time in my life that I played and I stupidly wore my jeans when I had my gym clothes in my car.

After frisbie, I hung out with Seth and Landon, buying the ultimate gift for Katie's birthday party that night: a wicker pig. And then it was off to Katie's awesome party, having a blast and meeting more new LA friends before heading back to San Diego.

One last item to mention, which I probably shouldn't, but... I finally got to meet the girl that a couple of my friends told me about three weeks ago. It was hard to act natural and not blurt out somthing stupidly awkward like, "It's good to finally meet you. Your friends told me all about you, but you don't know who the hell I am."

My First Awards Show...

Tonight, I attended my first awards show, accompanied by the beautiful and talented actress and comedian, Marian Cabuto. We were guests at the CAMIE Awards, which celebrate and honor inspirational films made theatrically and for television.

I was surprised with how many people I know through Media Fellowship International that were involved in the program itself. Lord John Taylor was a presenter and Billy Davis, Jr. and Marilyn McCoo were musical performers (their arrangement of Amazing Grace was, well... amazing). Not only that, but I've met and chatted more than once with one of the award recipients, Ken Wales, who was the producer of Amazing Grace.

I've seen the Academy Awards on television, but to see something like this myself and to be able to say that I know several of those on stage and then talk to them afterwards... that is something else entirely and hard to accurately describe.

All I know is that I sat there thinking about how this is the beginning for me. I will be at more award shows in the future and, with any luck, nominated for a few of them as well.

The ironic thing about the CAMIE Awards is that I was actually going to start something similar a couple of years ago after watching a film at Best Fest America called Reciprocity. It was going to be on a much smaller scale, but my plan was to give an award — the Kaiser Award — to the film at Best Fest that was the most inspirational. I hoped to branch out to other film festivals as well. At the time, I couldn't find anyone else that was doing the same thing, but I just didn't look hard enough.

In the end, I could afford to personally fund the award and I shelved the idea until I had a few more dollars in my bank account. I'd still like to do something, even if it's only with Best Fest and maybe I could help arrange to give out a student CAMIE award instead. I don't have that big an ego that the statue has to be named after me.

You Don't See That Every Day...

Yesterday, after finishing up with the open call at Universal Studios, I met up with my friends, Christian and Teddy, at Bob's Big Boy in Burbank.

The event? A car show. There is nothing manlier than getting together with other man and looking at dozens and dozens of rebuilt American muscle cars from the 50's and surrounding decades. One if my favorites was this red 1937 Ford. It was sincerely beautiful. Too bad I didn't take a picture.

I was surprised with how simple the engines were and how spacious it was under the hood, compared with today's model of cramming it all into a small space (I hear that mechanics literally hate the PT Cruiser).

It wasn't until I was about to leave and this very unique car entered the lot that a literal smile crept upon my face. The driver (David Vasquez) and passenger (Eliseo) were wearing aviator caps and goggles and it turns out that the vehicle was built from an airplane!

I spoke with David a bit more about his wonderfully odd plane-car. He was not the original builder, but he was able to tell me that it was originally a 1947 Ercoupe airplane and someone from Oxnard (I think he said worked at Mazda) turned it into the awesome sight that you see today.

I will post more photos as soon as I am able to sync my iPhone, so keep checking back for updates!


Update: Here are some more pictures of the Ercoupe plane-car!



Owner, David Vasquez, thumbs through the original plane's owner's manual.




David shows off the cover of the owner's manual.




A close-up shot of the owner's manual.




Christian talks to David about how awesome and amazing his Ercoupe plane-car is.




A shot of the rear of the Ercoupe plane-car shows just how manly this vehicle truly is. Vroom!




David and Eliseo pose with the Ercoupe plane-car.

As I Step Into A New Era...

It's just past midnight. In five hours, I wake up and prepare for my weekend in Los Angeles. A weekend that marks the end of one era of my life and begins a new one. It is a precursor to my move up there later this month and could very well define the next few years of my life.

It is a weekend packed full of job interviews (I have three in a four or five hour time frame), awards shows and beautiful women. I even bought a new, black dress shirt and two (black and red) ties to go with my recently tailored pinstripe suit (I lost 40 pounds since I bought it a year and a half ago).

Some of my friends are not surprised that I am moving to LA. They saw it coming and knew it was a matter of time since I stay overnight at least one weekend every month. Or, they heard me murmor about wanting to do so for a while. Others, well... they just knew it was eventual. I'm a producer and I need to be in the middle of the action to get my projects on television. And I think that's the best answer, along with the reasoning that "it's just time" to make the move.

This isn't the first time I've talked about moving. I almost went up there in 2000 when I was working with a company that was going to relocate me (but they never had the funding that they claimed they did) and then I started talking about it about a year ago, but reality quickly set in that it wasn't possible. Every time this past year when I would dream about moving, the feelings would fade after about 24 hours and I figured that was God telling me that it wasn't time yet.

On April 14th, as I drove home in the middle of the night from another weekend in LA, the thoughts came back to me. I thought about how silly it was that I was arriving home at 4:30am and constantly asking friends if I could crash on their couch for a couple of nights. Instead of paying for rent in San Diego, I could pay for rent in Los Angeles and stay with my Grandma rent-free when I needed to be down here.

As the days passed on, the thoughts to move did not dissipate as they had previously. On Thursday, I called my Grandma and asked her about living with her, but I figured that it would still be a couple of months down the road, if not longer. I just wanted to get my ducks in a row. The next night, I was hanging out with and talking to Tim, my friend who was supposed to become my new roommate. Since my current roomie had taken so long to move out and the school here is closing down and Tim won't be working here any longer, he no longer wants to move in.

"Okay, then." I told Tim. "I guess that means I'm moving to LA when Troy moves out."

Again, I thought it was still going to be a couple of months down the road and not immediate. The next day, I talked to Ed, my landlord, and told him the situation and explained that I was going to move out, but not until Troy did and that could be two or three months until it came to fruition.

The next Monday, Troy tells me that he is moving out the first weekend in May. That was less than two weeks away! This entire concept of moving to LA happened in less than a week and I was caught up in a whirlwind of planning my first FINAL FRIDAYS concert, shooting a demo television pilot for FX, and now planning for a move to Los Angeles! I went back to Ed and said, "Remember how we talked about stuff happening in two months? Well, it looks like it's going to be more like two weeks."

Over the past week, I've been sending off a few resumes and I have three interviews tomorrow. One is with a web design company and I would be contracting for them, but they claim that they would be sending me a lot of work. The next is with a video website company and they were looking for someone with production, web design, viral marketing and blogging experience. I think it's safe to say that they were looking specifically for someone like me! I mean, that job description fits my resume to a "T" and they responded the same day that I emailed them my resume. And then the final job is for Universal Studios. It's an open call for studio tour guides.

I could see myself excelling in all three jobs. They all have pros and cons and I think I have an equally good shot at getting an offer from any or all of them. I just really need to figure out which one will be the right balance with my existing freelance webdesign clients and my producing projects, such as Dr. von Kaiser and this new demo pilot we shot for FX.

So, pray for me as I spend the weekend in LA interviewing for jobs, scouting out potential crashing pads for the first couple of months, attending black tie awards shows and going to church.

I think this will be a good move for me. This entire ordeal is reminding me to trust God all over again. He is in control and He knows what he is doing. And I've felt for a while that I was going to need to move up to LA for God to introduce me to my future wife, so that prospect excites me as well. Perhaps I will finally meet someone who blows my mind and knocks my socks off, but not only that; someone whom I do the same to her. So far, it's only been one-sided.

I'll make sure to keep blogging about what God is doing during this period in my life. I can tell you now that he will continue to reveal himself in every little detail.

And now, as I finish this blog and it is nearly 12:30am, I anticipate the dawn before me. It is the start of a new day, the start of an exciting weekend, and the start of a new era in my life.