What A Douchbag...

Last night, just after midnight, I get a text message from a number that I don't recognize. I'm cautious, as I do not know who the person is, and for the next hour a series of text messages come through to my iPhone before he attempted to call me. In the end, the person annoyed me to no end and I finally threatened to call the authorities to make him stop. I think this might have been some cosmic karma or something for my exploits in my last blog.

Now, this person was likely drunk, but I can't say for sure. Undoubtedly, he was an idiot and I am going to post the entire text conversation to expose him as such (including his phone number in case anyone knows him in real life). For your reading enjoyment, allow me to begin...

619-419-8275: Hey
My Response: Hi. How is this? Your number is not showing up on my caller ID.
619-419-8275: This irene?
My Response: Nope.
619-419-8275: I was wondering if she still wanted an ipod
My Response: Well, you've got the wrong number. No irene here.
619-419-8275: Lol whats your name?
My Response: You first. FYI: I'm a dude.
619-419-8275: Ok dude. I might of gotten the wrong number. Just who are you. This number seems familiar.

(Note: I was hesitant here to respond, but I went ahead and volunteered a tiny bit of information.)

My Response: Name is Aaron. I'm a local filmmaker.
619-419-8275: Do you know rosa?
My Response: Doesn't sound familiar.
619-419-8275: Dont lie aaron
My Response: Excuse me?

(Note: At this point, I was starting to get annoyed. This prick then decided to call me! I sent him to voicemail and the message contained nothing, but chomping and heavy breathing. At this point, it is 1:00 am.)

619-419-8275: Lol i know who im texting. Cut the crap.
My Response: Yet I don't know who you are.
619-419-8275: Im also a filmmaker. My name is seymour butts
My Response: Frak off.

(Note: I held off on saying that as long as I could. I wanted to say that before when he told me not to lie. At this point, he tried calling again. This time, I answered and immediately hung up so he wouldn't get to my voicemail.)

619-419-8275: Very funny
My Response: And what is so funny? I just told you to frak off. I'm not going to play your game.

(Note: This little asswipe calls again. By now, I'm climbing into bed and want to go to sleep. This time, I answer and mute my end so I can listen to him. Again, I hear the chomping and breathing. After a minute or so, he starts saying, "Who are you, Aaron?" and I hang up. He calls immediately after that and I do that answer/hang-up on him. I begin typing my final text and he calls once more and I again answer/hang-up. I'm really tired of it at this point.)

My Response: Call or text me again and I am calling the police.
619-419-8275: Ok ok

(Note: And with that, the conversation was over and I was able to go to bed.)

Damn You Willis!

I have been an avid reader (and paid subscriber!) of David Willis' Shortpacked webcomic since it launched in 2005. I was a carry-over reader from his previous strip, It's Walky! and only became a fan after a cross-over with my first webcomic love, Steve Troop's Melonpool (whom I became a fan of after he gave me one of his collections at Comic-Con several years ago).

Anyway, so there is this character in the strip named Mike. Mike is an asshole. Period. The first time he is seen in this strip, he is trying to convince a customer to buy sharp knives for his children. When Charlton Heston died, he was seen prying his gun from his cold, dead hands. His goal in life is to cause you pain. Why? Because he's an asshole and that's the only reason he needs.

Anyway, I was out to dinner with friends a week ago after watching a movie. There are literally a dozen of us sitting around a long table and I'm stuck in the middle of it. I don't really mind, it allows me to switch to the other side of the table for a conversation if the current people are boring. At one point, the guy next to me says something about him having "this or that" (I really don't remember what he said, all I picked up on was him saying the word "had").

Instinctively, I jumped in with, "Oh yeah? I had your Mom last night for a nickel."

Of course, no one knew the reference and a couple of my friends actually asked me to leave the table (which I did not). They didn't understand that I was just channeling my inner Mike. And it's not that I was just acting like Mike, but I was actually copying stuff he has said, too.



As you can see from the second strip Mike appeared in, he told some little kid that anyone could have his mom for a nickel. I can't recall if he repeated this line in other strips or not, but it's become his tagline, or mantra, of sorts and was even made into a t-shirt at one point. Actually, it's the only Shortpacked t-shirt that I did NOT consider buying because it was, well... just too assholy.

And that is what inspired me to tell my friend that I had his Mom for a nickel. I didn't have to think about it, it just blurted out of my lips. It was like an uncontrollable force made from years and years of reading the comic. And there's only one person to blame for this, too. David Willis. Shortpacked is my drug and Willis is my crack dealer. Damn you Willis!

Someone Special Must Be Praying For Me...

God likes to give me a change of perspective at the oddest of times. When he does, it is often most profound.

I am sitting in church, watching fourteen individuals getting baptized, and someone shares the story of how she "was a wild one" and how she thought that she got a free pass at sin because she was saved. (Note: This individual no longer lives this way and is walking closer to Christ, thus her profession of faith through the act of baptism.)

Suddenly, I began thinking of my life. I thought of how I have gone around frustrated that I am not married and that I am nearly 28 years old and still a virgin.

God knows my heart. He knows how I began in high school with a committmemt to Him to remain pure until marriage (thanks to the True Love Waits campaign), but as time went on, it became less of my desire to abstain and more of my ex-girlfriend's demand that we go no further. My purity ring was a symbol of my status, not my intention.

So, I'm a virgin today, but not by my own efforts. As a man with natural, sexual desires and urges, this has frustrated me to no ends and I believe that, if given the opportunity (and believe me, I've tried to arrange it), I would not be one now.

And then today, as I watch the baptisms, God puts the most random thought in my head: someone special must be praying for me. With how far I've gone and how much I've longed for sex, any other person likely would have given it up by now.

That leaves only one line of logical thought. My future wife must be a godly woman who asks God on a nightly basis, "Father, watch over my husband, whomever and wherever he is. Keep him pure and prepare him for me."

I've heard of women praying for the husbands they have never met, but never thought that I could be the recipient of such conversations with God. I have literally had opportunities where I might have lost my virginity and then they never materialized. I can only account this to
the prayer of a godly woman.

And the closer I get to when I think I might actually meet my wife, the more my desire to remain pure returns. I think towards opportunities and want to run away because I don't want to disappoint the woman that has been praying for me for so many years (I am actually concerned about an upcoming situation right now).

To my future wife, please keep praying for me. I need God's strength to resist temptation and to avoid situations where my judgement will be impaired.

You Take The Good, You Take The Bad...

Life never ceases to both amaze me and frustrate me at the same time. I can spend an evening enjoying one aspect of what is going on and hating the other.

Last night was my inaugural FINAL FRIDAYS concert. The bands showed up as expected and played amazing sets. Everyone was mostly on schedule and it was a fun evening. Where the night went wrong was that attendance wasn't anywhere near expectation.

For most of last night and even into this morning, I was frustrated and beating myself up. This was my third concert that I promoted and the third time that attendance was less than admirable. Not only that, but not a single friend of mine showed up to support my efforts.

But then it hit me. Despite the obvious failure in one area, the evening was still a success in others. Not only did the venue enjoy the musical acts that I put together, but they had me interview the artists and that part went really well. I asked questions that the bands enjoyed answering (and are rarely asked) and that the viewer will want to hear the answer to. Who knows, this footage could eventually land me a job!

Anyway, I guess it is true. You can't let a partial failure equal total failure. And nights like this grow you and expose your weaknesses so you can learn from them. It is simply... a fact of life.

Note: Pictured is the headlining band, Arm the Angels, during their set last night.

This Week Is Wearing Me Out...

I mentioned in my last blog that I knew ahead of time just how busy this week was going to be and that I could sense how important the day spent with friends at Sea World was to relax me before the onslaught hit.

Well, I made it through the first task of completing the big insurance website that I was working on. I got a couple of my other big items taken care of as well. The most emotionally taxing item this week has been scouring Craigslist for jobs and rooms for rent in LA.

I get done looking and I literally feel tired. It just drains you. I'm not worried that I won't find anything (I already have two awesome interviews lined up for May 2nd), but the entire process is so stressful, especially since it is happening so fast. It's as if I've been caught up in a whirlwind!

We are counting down the days to my first FINAL FRIDAYS concert (with the possible prospect of it being a sold out event) and I am now taking up a last second production for a three-minute television demo pilot competition that I am again partnering up with Brilliant Screen Studios to produce (this time it is their brainchild, and a good one at that, and I'm primarily helping with casting right now).

So, that's my week in a nutshell: three web clients, web work for my company, moving to Los Angeles, promoting a concert and producing a TV pilot. Don't know how anyone could tack on anything more.

By the way, simply going through headshots and selecting actors and actresses for the roles... I got that rush again tonight that fueled me on my long drive home and reminded me that this is the industry that God has called me to. I need to be in production more often. That's why I'm finally moving to LA.

The Calm Before The Storm...

A casual Sunday afternoon at Seaworld spent with friends. I'm not sure that there could have been a better way to start this week.

Staring down the road of responsibilities over the next few days, I face completing multiple web and freelance assignments, holding my first FINAL FRIDAYS concert, and researching my move to Los Angeles. So, doing something that forces me away from work to relax is really important and beneficial.

I did the fun stuff like Journey to Atlantis, Wild Arctic and Shipwreck Harbor, plus activities that I haven't done since a kid, like the Sea Lion and Otter Show. Currently, I'm waiting for the Shamu Show to begin in about 60 seconds, which I haven't seen in years either (and they have changed recently).

Crap, it's starting! Gotta go!

Note: Pictured is my friend, Becca, trying to peer over the water line in Wild Arctic.

My Meeting With The Turkmen...

This morning, I met with a delegation from Turkmenistan as a representative of San Diego Filmmakers. We discussed the group and our monthly networking meetings, but they seemed more interested in my work as a producer. So, we opened up my laptop and I showed them Give It Up, Three Lives and Wannabe before signing Dr. von Kaiser postcards for each of them.

This was the first time that I have ever communicated with a group of people with the aid of translators (one of which, I must comment, was a very beautiful Russian gal). When they asked why my company was titled AntiKaiser Productions and I told them that I was my own evil twin, it apparently turned into "I am my own best enemy."

I felt very honored to talk to them and I enjoyed it immensely. In a sense, I made friends with filmmakers from across the globe and I was possibly a voice in the future of their film industry. In any case, I stepped out of my comfort zone and embraced a new experience.

Perhaps, in the future, I can visit these same individuals in Turkmenistan and experience what their industry is like firsthand.

WTF?!?

I can't believe that gas is $3.81 now (and it's supposed to get higher). Here's how much the poor sap before me spent to fill his tank: $75.00

Thankfully, my tank only holds 15 gallons. I got to pay the bargain price of $55.67 (no wonder I can't catch up on my bills).

Can "The Kaiser" Come Out And Play?

My friends, Derek, Greg and Cassidy, have a sweet pad down in Santee. The main thing that makes it sweet is the huge flat screen television with Rock Band on the XBOX 360 setup.

The living room draws everyone in to play. Many a night have I spent beating on the drums or singing "Enter Sandman" off key.

It has also drawn in the neighborhood children who want to play with the big boys. The first time they came over, they asked us our names as only little kids can do (and as adults probably should, but don't). I simply told them my last name. A couple of people chuckled and added on, "Yeah, he just goes by 'The Kaiser'."

The other night, I was told a story about the kids coming over and wanting to play on the XBOX. When they were told no, they asked, "Is 'The Kaiser' here?"

I don't think I've ever laughed so hard in my life. I can't wait for the day that I pop over there and get out of my car only to hear one kid yell down the street to another, "Billy! Billy! 'The Kaiser' is here!"

So Very, Very Tired...

It's 11:00 am. I've been up for just over an hour. I didn't go to bed until after 5:00 am, shortly after I got home from LA. I was up there for the last part of the weekend (Sunday and Monday) for Media Fellowship International at CBS Studio Center, as well as the premiere of the new Phil Donlon short film "The Main In The Silo" featuring Ernie Hudson and a voice over by my brilliant friend, Doug Jones (whom shares his birthday with me, for those that I haven't told a million times already).

The film was beautifully shot (they used Kodak daytime film at night and got an interesting composition) and the presentation by Ernie was just phenomenal and powerful. I loved Doug's comment during the Q&A, when he said, "Anyone that knows my body of work realizes just how ironic it is that I was brought on to just be the voice."

While I was watching the film, I couldn't help, but think how Doug's echoed voice sounded exactly the same as in the final scene of my 2004 short film, Three Lives. :-/

Where the film lacks is the running time. 60 minutes was actually too long. Yes, it fit the music (which was intense and is actually the Vertigo soundtrack), but the story drags and I wanted to get on with what was going on. Not just repeat the nightmare scene multiple times. And then I felt as if the film didn't have any personal resolution. I didn't get the ending as easily as I probably should have. My friend and guest for the evening, the beautiful and talented actress, Bethany Watrous, echoed similar sentiments on the running time, but felt there was more of a resolution than I did.

After the film, we drove down to The Spanish Kitchen on La Cienega for the after party and had a great time chatting, shmoozing, and having people mistake us for a married couple (okay, that was one person when we were still at the theater, but it sounds better to be placed here). Oddly enough, Doug was the one with the biggest crowd around him for the longest, but we did finally get a few minutes with him to hug with him and say hi.

By the time I dropped Bethany off and began the long drive home, it was around midnight and I was already emotionally and physically spent. I should have stayed with friends up in LA a second night, but I needed to be back here for a 10:00 am phone call. I slept for a couple of hours in the rest area near Camp Pendelton (which I almost didn't make it to thanks to my swerving) and pulled in around 4:30 am. Had to remove clothes that I didn't take with me on my trip from the bed, left a quick comment on someone's MySpace profile so I wouldn't forget, then went to bed.

Each trip up there makes me want to get my own place. If only I could afford it. :-(

By the way, if you aren't reading my production blog for "Dr. von Kaiser", there was an awesome thing that happened to me at Starbucks yesterday (during the brief time I was back in San Diego in the middle of my LA trip... at least I didn't drive that leg) and I blogged about it. Here's the link: http://blog.drvonkaiser.com/2008/04/trip-to-starbucks.html

When God Molded My Clay...

Tonight, at Media Fellowship, Pastor Bob had everyone do an exercise. On one side of a piece of paper, he had us write down six words that we would use to describe ourselves. Ten minutes later, he had us flip the paper over and write six words that God would use to describe us and we were supposed to see how they differ.

I actually didn't do the exercise. Not because I didn't have a pen (anyone would tell you I would happily type it up on my iPhone), but because I already had done it 51 days prior on February 23rd.

On that night, I was lying in bed and contemplating how I would describe myself and how others do and I came to the realization that it doesn't matter. All that does matter is how God sees me. This happened right after I rode with Pastor Bob from LA to San Diego and we discussed someone calling me incorrigible and he disagreed with the accuracy of that label.

Anyway, that conversation and this contemplation led me to think about what God might have said while creating me and molding my clay. I came up with five characteristics: patient, creative, passionate, contemplative, and energetic (a sixth could easily be outgoing). I then expanded on what God could have said about each one and how it would impact and shape my life. Below is what I wrote and I want to share it with you. Enjoy!

"God said, 'I will create Aaron Matthew Kaiser and I will make him patient, creative, passionate, contemplative, and energetic. He will be a leader and will go through many trials in order to earn the respect of his peers and always remember who I am. He will look inward to reflect on who he is and will see my miracles and be encouraged. He will pursue life with vigor and never let go of what he has grasped. His words and ideas will inspire others and the quality of his work will glorify my name. In all things, he will not grow tired and he will help push others to reach the goal.' "

Live from the Souljourners Concert!

Here is a picture I just took of Scoop (David) from Souljourners at the concert I'm running at Cornerstone Church in Poway.

Those of you who aren't here, well... you suck.

My Sleeping Schedule Is Out Of Whack...

Seriously. I haven't been on a proper sleeping schedule in over a week. Right now, it's 2:30 am and I just got done hanging out with friends, watching the new episode of Battlestar Galactica, and the remaining episodes of Frisky Dingo (Season 1 DVD).

I should be in bed. Actually, I should have been in bed a couple of hours ago. When I first started working for myself, I had a fairly good sleeping schedule. I tried to go to bed no later than midnight (1:00 am was my limit) and I would set my alarm for 8:30 am and start working around 9:00 am, as I had when I was at Leadfusion (just minus the time I needed to get up, shower, dress, and drive to the office).

All it takes is one day, it seems, to throw you off. I don't even remember why I was up super late a couple of weeks ago. I think I was working on a website or doing something creative (late, late night used to always be my creative time when I was simming) and since I was up until 4:00 am that night, I allowed myself to sleep in the next morning. This caused me to not sleep until late the next night, and the cycle has repeated itself. Even on nights where I haven't gotten much sleep because I still had to get up early, I can be sitting down and be physically tired, but mentally active. That's what I'm doing now. I want to sleep, but my brain is making me blog.

Yes, it is making me. There is a gun pointed to my head. My brain is trying to commit suicide.

Okay, I'm so tired that I actually thought that joke would be funny to tell. Regardless, my sleeping schedule is all out of whack and I need to get back into alignment. I can tell that I'm off. I am stressed out and I feel overworked and that's not normal for me. I know it stems from allowing my relationship with Christ to falter. I haven't devo'd properly in a few weeks. Haven't journaled or prayed, either. And when I haven't, I'm off my entire game and that's how I feel now. I'm not making my walk with God a priority and, as a result, I am having trouble focusing on the other things in my life.

Maybe, instead of putting it off to tomorrow, I should read my devotionals tonight before I go to bed. If I can discipline myself to do this one thing, it will help me to be disciplined to do the work that needs to be done for business.

Ah, Such a Wonderful Sound...

...to hear your roommate in the kitchen, finally doing dishes after 4+ months of them sitting and stinking and attracting insects.

And all it took was a semi-nice-yet-strongly-worded note asking him to do it and reminding him that it was his responsibility because they were all dishes he used.

Discouraged and Defeated...

There are really only a couple of life factors that impact me enough to make me want to cry. Aside from the obligatory touching movie scenes, they are women and money. Only when a woman has broken my heart or a bill has broken my wallet do I just feel utterly defeated.

These days, it tends to be the latter. Work has literally picked up. I am so busy that I can spend hours at my computer working and not get half of the to-do list done. My personal projects, the ones I left my job at Leadfusion for, are suffering and I feel lost in everything I do. Unfortunately, my pay does not reflect my efforts and I fall short. I put off a bill until the next check, which comes just in time for another round of bills. I'm always paying things late and only
paying the overdue amount.

To use a phrase that Pastor Barry used a couple of weeks ago at CBC, I'm "just hanging on" and not sure how long until I let go. There is something mortally defeating about doing everything you can to pay a bill on time, including borrowing money from a parent or two, only to have it explode in your face anyway. I think that the worst part is that I am letting my creditors down. I don't know who Joe Schmoe at my insurance company is, but I feel worthless when I get that cancellation letter because I can't pay my premium. I can't imagine how I would feel if it got bad enough where I was living on the street.

Sometimes, I just don't get it. I have the personality, ambition, talent and creativity to be a very successful businessman and entreprenuer. Yet, it seems that I can't get ahead because I don't have access to that tiny bit of capital it takes to hire people to delegate the work to and get the gears rolling. My animated project, Dr. von Kaiser, is suffering from a lack of operating headquarters and paid crew members that must hit deadlines or else. This concert series
I am working on has potential, but I need someone to spearhead getting the advertising and sponsorships so I can focus on what I'm good at: marketing.

I just want to get ahead. Hell, I'd be happy right now if I could just catch up, then we'll talk about getting ahead. What am I missing? What am I doing wrong that is preventing me from making my mark on this world? Why must I only have small successes that never lead to anything larger?

Apparently, Tim is Magneto...

I need to make sure to keep hanging out with Tim (I'm glad he'll be my roomie soon). Today at lunch, he demonstrated his magical Magneto-esque powers of magnetism as his silverware stuck together in mid-air.

Take Me Out To The Ballgame...

Despite the fact that I'm not much of a sports fan, I am currently sitting in (and blogging from) the Toyota Terrace at Petco Park. Next to me is my good friend, Tim (pictured next to me) and I must admit that the seats are pretty nice. Padres are bearing the Dodgers (sorry, Dad) and the weather is beautiful.

Just being here and being at a sporting event makes me think of my Grandpa Shein. How would he react to the play that the catcher just made if he were still here? What would be say of the score? It's days like this that I miss him.