A couple of months ago, The Art of Manliness blog pointed to an article on 7P Productions entitled, "Do Nice Guys Finish Last?" The article made the following statement, "I decided to finally answer this question once and for all. This can only be achieved by applying a scientifically rigorous approach. My method was to think of a few questions that would test my theory, arrive at the answers using my gut instincts, and then use Google to see if anyone else agrees."
On Saturday, I reconnected with dozens of my former high school classmates. None of them was I more happy to see than the girl I had a crush on from sixth to twelfth grade. It appeared that she was happy to see me as well, which made me even happier. The only thing that didn't make me happy was the fact that she currently had a boyfriend, but the fact that they were going through a rough time gave me hope and the sheer power of our reconnection made me realize that I couldn't sit idly by and hope that they would break up. I must take action and be a part of the process. After all, they aren't married, so she is fair game.
I thought to the stories I hear all of the time from our grandparents' generation. Constantly, do they mention wooing their wives away from other men they were dating or were engaged to at the time that they met. Hell, even the movie "The Notebook" chronicles a similar story where the man had to pursue the woman that he was meant to be with.
I've had to think long and hard. Do I want to do this? I'm the nice guy. According to the 7P Productions article, nice guys finish last in terms of finding love. Granted that her boyfriend isn't in the "nice guy" category, hence him possibly losing her, but he won't if someone doesn't step up and steal her away.
And I'm a romantic guy. What is more romantic than pursuing her and literally stealing her away from her boyfriend? I believe that anything worth pursuing must invariably come with obstacles, challenges, and complications to overcome. If I truly believe her to be worth pursuing, I must be willing to accept the mountainous climb and persevere.
But that also means that I can't be Mr. Nice Guy anymore. At least long enough to win her heart (or fail miserably, which I'm willing to accept as an outcome). I must be persistent without being overbearing. Aggressive without being annoying. I need to have a plan and make each communications calculated and meaningful. It's like I'm preparing for a military assault. Perhaps I am. I have declared war on their deteriorating relationship, after all. And war calls for strategy to win, not brute force.
I've mentioned this to a few people and the reactions are surprising. I want to hear from you. I have posted a poll and would like everyone's opinion on if I'm doing the right thing in plotting to end their relationship. Does this amount to her cheating on her boyfriend, or is this as romantic as relationships can get? Let me know!
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
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3 comments:
Vaguely it would be emotional cheating, but if their relationship is already falling apart, then maybe you would be the catalyst to make change for her.
Of course there is that risk that turnabout is fair play and later on the same will happen to you. The question then is whether or not it is better to have risked and lost, or to have just never had. This is going to vary from person to person.
hey mate.. i dont like it one bit... you have tired of waiting the normal usual way.. and so after the encouragement of some blog ( is his encouragement christian based) and instead of waiting for God to move you are moving yourself.. now perhaps that is what God is calling you to do.. but unless God has called you to move.. than wait... wait and wait.. dont be rushed... take your time.. because it ALWAYS gets screwed up when we do it, but it goes correctly when God does it, so unless he has called you to act.. then just wait and pray.. plus it has only been a week ago mate.. not like 2 years.. and you know your past and how you normally operate.. if she is meant to be.. than let it happen.. not the easiest way perhaps.. but the most fulfilling... cheers
travis
Proverbs 3:3-4
Travis, you actually aren't getting the point of what I wrote, so you comment is a bit off base. I'm going to try and write a follow-up to this about what this situation is and what it isn't, then maybe we will have some clarity of discussion. Basically, I think you are confusing my intention for intensity.
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